Hammered

There will be a blog about Secret Origins of Super-Villains, Marvel's Conan and Doctor Who (Oh dear...really. Oh dear.) in the fullness of time. That couple of split weeks with the Royal Wedding and  May Day  threw me off-kilter. I had a few days in Glasgow- my mum is recuperating from a big medical procedure- but now I'm back in Moray.
This afternoon I went to the Playhouse for the first time; a proper, old-fashioned cinema, all cream and red- two screens, ice cream, popcorn- and an audience of about eight for Thor...
So: did I like it? Yes, for the most part. Three of my most dreaded irritants from Marvel movies- the snarky tone of the fat ,17-year-old gamer, rasping metal vocals and the titles at the end- so pretentious- reared their heads. But there was a sweet and rather hesitant romance with pretty scientist Natalie Portman and hulking Hemsworth (no pun intended) brought Australian swagger and amiability to the role of the Thunder God. Tom Hiddleston looked suitably shifty, even in those bitchin' horns but his Loki is the Mark Millar /Ultimate version, I think. The real star was Anthony Hopkins: a fantastic Odin. wise, wrathful and, well, god-like.
Branagh's Shakespearian nous lent a little emotional colour to the cod-Tolkien scenes with the Frost Giants and  apart from the Disco Rainbow Bridge, Asgard looked suitably Kirby-esque. The implacable Destroyer was also (reasonably) faithfully realised (too tall!). If there's a sequel (Trial of the Gods!!) I would  like to see more (much more in Volstagg's case) of the Warriors Three and the Stunning Sif.
No spoilers, sweetie. I sat through the very, very long end credits for the teaser scene with scenery-chewing Samuel L. It wasn't worth the wait.
  Here's my Thor gallery; some of my favourite stories of Ol' Goldilocks:

                                                        Three of my favourite non-Asgardian Thor villains.

 A Destroyer story I read in Stonehouse hospital in 1972 (Pertwee was in The Time Monster!)

 My introduction to Galactus and Neal Adams on Thor (right)

 Ayr (left) and Prestwick airport (left) Blind Loki scared me silly.

 I bought this 1974 treasury last month ; in 76, Kirby was on covers and Thor was in Space:1999

 My friend Graham Sim introduced me to Simonson 80s Thor. Didn't care for it much. Too Tolkien 

I much preferred early 90s Thor and Ron Frenz "channelling" Kirby

 It strikes me I liked Thor best when he was immersed in Kirby's Pop Kozmic worlds- the Colonizers from Rigel, the New Men, the Bioverse...One major factor to his appeal and missing from the film (apart from the winged helmet, obviously) is the link with lame Dr. Blake, the Freddy Freeman gimmick "borrowed" from Captain Marvel Jr. Thor's tragedy is two-fold: his demanding, distant father and his doomed affair with mortal Jane. Anyway, good to see a credit for Stan's brother Larry at the end.

With X-Men:First Class only weeks away, the number of Marvel heroes (and villains) who have made it to the cinema screen must be over two dozen in the last decade. Compare that with DC: a kitschy  Donner -Superman tribute flick; the critically-savaged  Halle Berry-Eartha Kitt- Catwoman flop; Jonah Hex (haven't seen it yet but the word wasn't good); and two successes, the gloomy Batman psychodramas. The wacky cosmic mythos of Green Lantern might turn out to be a little too bizarre for the post-Phantom Menace movie audience (although it's the  inevitable snark-fest unleashed by bitchy Ryan Reynolds that puts me off.)
It occurred to me that my fantasy 70s JLA had the potential to compete seriously with the Avengers for cinema takings. Check out this re-tooled line-up:

 First, the World's Finest. Easy selection but essential. The Brave and the bold, the Brains and the Brawn. Next, the Emerald Gladiator, summer movie star and top seller in the funny books:

The fourth slot is filled by the one hero most closely associated with this GL; reasonably-well known from Smallville, longbow hunter Oliver Queen:

The fifth team member is one of the other tent-poles of the DC universe - but I want the cocky, blue-collar Wallace West version:

My last two choices are a little less traditional. Wonder Woman is, as I've argued, too irrelevant and fetishistic a character to be one of DC's Trinity (it should be the Original Captain Marvel). I have no problem with the Mod WW of the early 70s but a more popular choice, I think and one that represents cultural diversity,would be the new Batwoman:

My last JLA member is a character who's just been re-introduced to the mainstream DC universe. The original Big Seven (although they were never known as such) included lesser-lights Martian Manhunter and Aquaman. While both have their charm and are familiar from tv, it was the JLA's teen hipster sidekick I remember best: Happy Harbor's Snapper Carr.
But a non-powered teen would be less effective as an identification figure in 2011 than the shabby, English magus I have in mind. My seventh JLAer is the Hellblazer himself, John Constantine:

Seriously, I think this line-up would be an explosive team, especially in a Lovecraftian scenario, like this:

After all, if Bruce Wayne's best friend is vulnerable to magick, is he really going to turn to Zatanna Zatara, in her top hat and fishnets? Anyway, I think this Justice League would see off the Ultimat- sorry, the Avengers at the box office.

Given that Mark Ruffalo (left) will be playing the next Hulk, a quick word about "Shutter Island" on dvd.I enjoyed it , found it suitably unsettling and for quite some time thought it was going to be a fedora-wearing version of The Prisoner. A Hitchcockian tall tale, it did seem a bit portentous at times: the auteur self-regard of Scorsese radiating in every technique. It's quite a bag of tricks and we're spared none of them. It would be have been just as effective without the expressionism but I didn't guess the twist ending. My biggest problem really lies with Leo who just seems too boyish to portray, well, any of the men he's been cast as in recent years.

Next time: Wanted! The World's Most Dangerous Villains -or maybe: One Small (Mis)step?

The legal bit: all images are presumed copyright of their respective owners. This is only for fun . Don't write in.